It’s late and I should be in bed but I wanted to write this down before I forget. Just 6 days later and I’ve already forgotten so much.This journey feels so surreal. Almost like it never happened.
On Tuesday afternoon after repacking my hospital bag a million times we dropped by the pool and said goodbye to the kids and made our way to town to prepare for the arrival of baby number four.
We checked into our hotel, showered and put on fancy clothes and walked hand in hand to dinner just down the road. We indulged fine food and coca cola, we soaked up the alone time and enjoyed what might be our very last night out, just the two of us for a very long time. After dinner we walked back to our hotel, changed into our pyjamas, crawled into bed and turned on the tv not having a clue what tomorrow would bring.
I knew I needed a good nights sleep so I went to bed early but at 3am dispute my best efforts I was wide awake. I lay there in bed for ages waiting for sleep to come but it never did so when the sun came up I pulled myself out of bed and made sure everything was ready for our trip to the hospital.
We skipped breakfast and arrived on the ward to check in at 7am just as we had been told earlier that week, being cheeky and asking the midwives where we check in for the day.
We’d never done this before and didn’t know what to expect. We’d been told I would have a check up and they would insert the gel and would most likely send us away..instead they decided I should have my waters broken and the drip started shortly after. It was done before I knew it had even happened and I guess you could say the show was well and truly on the road.
Breakfast was ordered and I joked about how I wanted an epidural on the side and it was all a waiting game from then on in. The nurse said she was more then happy to give me an epi with breakfast but I said I was happy to wait, I’d never had one before and wasn’t sure if I would need it now, I just wanted to make sure it was an option from the get go.
She stood there in front of me and said the only thing about having an epidural is I don’t want you to ask for it and say I wish I didn’t have an epidural. I laughed and said trust me if I’m I’m actually asking for an epidural and I don’t make it in time the old thing ill be saying is I wish I asked for it sooner.
Things were pretty boring throughout the morning. I was having contractions but they weren’t what I would call painful. I remember the nurse standing there asking me if it hurt and I simply said not really and she looked a little shocked. But to me this was totally normal.
Luigi sat in the corner playing games on his phone, occasionally taking calls for work and I caught up on an episode of greys anatomy, I had barely finished the episode but I was physically exhausted and knew I needed rest. I didn’t want to risk having an attack from my menieres and bringing on a dizzy spell.
So in between contractions I caught up on as much sleep as I could hoping it would be enough to keep it at bay. Eventually the pain got worse and Luigi must have spotted it too because there he was by my side. We discussed my options and I decided to try the morphine. Luigi said it gave you an amazing feeling but while I found it took the edge off the pain it didn’t do what I needed it to do. Later on I tried the gas and while the gas helped me to regulate my breathing the pain was quite intense and it wasn’t doing enough.
By this time even though I was doing my best to rest I was exhausted and the dizziness and the titinus in my ears had set in. I was able to control the dizziness eventually but my hearing was shot and it felt like a smoke alarm was going off in my head.
The nurse was right in front of me talking and I couldn’t hear a thing. I asked Luigi for my phone and started typing. I couldn’t focus on an attack and give birth at the same time, it just wasn’t possible. I managed to get out that I need something more for the pain, I wanted an epidural.
So they did. The anaesthesiologist was there before I knew it. The pain was intense but the dizziness bothered me more and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and wash it away so that’s what I did. Luigi held me in place while they worked their magic.
I remember it was just before lunch and Luigi was by my side and the rest all seems like a big fuzzy dream. The epidural did what I wanted it to do, it allowed me to rest.I would wake up occasionally in a little pain and see Luigi there by my side holding my hand or rubbing my back. I remember waking up once and he wasn’t there but it was only for a second, it was late and they must have ordered him out to find food other then that he never left my side, he did an amazing job and I couldn’t have done it without him.
Before I knew it. Luigi was there in front of me telling me it was time to push. I could feel the sensation but didn’t feel I had the energy to push so every time a contraction hit he would be there telling me it was time, urging me on. I remember lying there thinking I don’t feel a single bit of pain, why have I never done this before, what an idiot you are Danielle, you should have done this years ago when you first started having children.
Before I knew it they were placing a baby on my chest. It honestly didn’t feel real. I looked at Luigi and said is it really a girl and he smiled and said it sure is. He had the biggest grin on his face I knew she was going to break his heart over and over again. We named her Abigail Grace, she weighed in at 9.1 and was just perfect.
After everything was done I was suddenly starving and realised I hadn’t eaten since breakfast so the nurses brought me food and I requested ice, lots and lots of ice. Eventually my ears stopped ringing and the dizziness had stopped completely and I was given the all clear so I handed her over to rest.
Later that night we were moved to the ward and after kicking Luigi out the door and sending me home to rest Abigail was taken to the special care unit and I was instructed to rest. She was brought into me later that night for a feed and then I didn’t see her again until the next morning.
I didn’t lose any blood or require stitches but my iron was extremely low which explains why the combination of the morphine and epidural knocked me out and allowed me to rest between contractions.
It’s so hard to compare her labour to the others. They have all been so very different. You here so many horror stories about being induced but despite me having an attack due to my menieres I actually can not fault Abigail’s labour. It’s probably not a path I would have chosen for myself but this time around medically it was the perfect step and one I do not regret.
Almost a week in and Abigail is doing brilliantly. Just like her sisters she sleeps, she eats and she is the perfect addition to our family. Dispite all of the chaos going on around us we still find ourselves stuck in the baby bubble and I don’t think the magic is going to wear off any time soon.
the support we have received throughout this pregnancy and now early into the baby days and beyond has been amazing. Not only from people in our own lives but people we have never met through social media and other walks of life. There is seriously no way I can put into words just how much the support from every single person who reads this blog has meant. So all I can do is say Thank You, it’s been a blast and I hope you stick around for the next part of the adventure