I haven’t been blogging a lot lately and I can’t really pin point why. I guess I just feel a little lost in the world. Life seems crazy right now and there’s a lot going on in our lives that I feel I shouldn’t blog about.
But this feels incredibly strange to me and it’s almost like I have to fight it. I have always considered myself an open book and my blog has always been the one place I could count on to express myself but right now I feel the need to pull back.
I feel the need for privacy, to protect my words and hide my thoughts because all this stuff going on around me isn’t for public viewing and it’s not my story to tell. Not now and maybe not ever.
Tomorrow we hit the 20 week mark in our pregnancy and I still feel so mixed up about the whole ordeal. I feel like I’ve been thrown a massive curve ball and I’m just not sure I’m up for the challenge.
Each day I wake up and I take the necessary steps to make it through to day, staying healthy and not pushing myself too far because that little voice is always there is the back of my mind. What if it’s too much for my body to handle, what if it all comes back, I just don’t think I have it in me to fight another battle.
I know in my head that none of this even matters and everything will fall into place and right now..it’s all about taking one step at a time.