Life can change in an instant

by Danielle on December 20, 2010

in Uncategorized

It’s been a big couple of weeks for us. Some may say it’s been a huge couple of weeks.
On Thursday 9th December my husband was working down in Brisbane and wasn’t feeling well so the boss’s wife booked an appointment at the medical centre, found somebody to drive him and made him go to the doctors. His had constant problems with his health for the last twelve months and it always felt like one thing after another. A while ago he told me there was a lump on his neck and we actually had him booked into the doctors that week but canceled the appointment due to his trip. His had a lump in his neck since returning from overseas and it kind of came and went. We always thought it was a cyst or something similar and I often joked he was paranoid.
We were moving the next day and I was busy cleaning the house, he didn’t call me to tell me how it went so I assumed it was nothing. After attending Effie’s christmas concert later that evening I remember he had been to the doctors and called him back to see how he went. He said he would talk to me about it when I made it to Brisbane. I knew the news wasn’t going to be good.
The next day it felt like it took forever to actually get out of Nebo and on the road, We didn’t end up leaving until 2pm. We should have stayed the night and started in the morning but I couldn’t wait another day to know what was going on.
We didn’t have a plan, we were just going to drive as far as we felt comfortable. Once we hit Rocky we felt good, we stopped at McDonalds for an hour to recharge my phone and let the kids play, we were going to try and make it to Bundy but once we got there back in the car the kids fell asleep and we were wide awake so we just kept on going. Next came Gympie, we were only 1 1/2 hours away and were still amazingly wide awake so on we went. The roads were clear I was more than happy to travel into the city with no traffic on the road, we pulled up in our drive way at 3:30am.
I didn’t have a key but knew where my husband had hidden the spare, I secretly hoped it was still there as he had been staying at a hotel in the city and I wasn’t too keen on sleeping in the car for a few hours until he showed up for the day. I found the key, carried the kids through the front door and put them into the make shift beds we made up on our last trip. There was no power, it was getting connected at 8am but it was cool and the sun was already starting to rise.
As I jumped into bed I sent my husband a txt: I’m home. I woke up a few hours later and he was standing over me shaking his head. The first words out of his mouth was..your a bloody idiot! I jumped up and gave him the biggest hug and he lead me outside to the verandah where we sat on the couch an soaked up the sunshine. He was good at avoiding things, it was a special talent of his and that was exactly what he was doing now.
He took my hands and looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes, what ever he was about to tell me was going to change or lives forever. He spoke the words but I didn’t hear them, maybe I didn’t want to hear the truth, I wasn’t prepared to deal with the reality of the situation. I looked up at those sad eyes and tried to understand what he just said, could I have miss heard? You have what? I asked this time I heard the words clearly I have cancer…
It’s been just over a week since he told me and the idea of everything is finally starting to sink in. My husband has cancer.
Right now it’s a guessing game. Its spread to multiple parts of his body and the doctors believe he has stage 3 hodgekins disease. I only know the basics, that it’s a disorder in the blood system and in most cases the survival rate is 85% if it’s caught early enough. Normally google would be my best friend but this time I’m too afraid to look, I don’t want to know all the facts and figures I just want to live in the moment.
His already had a stack of medical tests. Blood tests, CT scans, PET scans and there’s so many more to come. His booked in for a biopsy on Christmas eve to remove the lump on his neck for testing and were hoping that a spot will open up and they will be able to take a bone marrow sample this week.
We hope to have all the results back after Christmas and a treatment plan put into place by the start of 2011. Luigi has been amazing. His been so positive throughout the whole process, his still working and taking one step at a time. Physically now we know whats going on we can really spot the changes, it seems silly that we missed the signs for so long but there’s no point dwelling on the whole process, it just makes the reality of the situation worse.
Right now I’m suppose be on holidays with my family in NSW but with Luigi not being able to travel and having all these tests I couldn’t even think of leaving him behind.
Effie and Josceline flew to Melbourne with my sister on Sunday and will return sometime in the new year. They have been looking forward to this trip for so long I couldn’t bare to take that away from them. The next couple of years is going to be tough on all of us and they deserve a good Christmas.
So right now this is what I know. We’ve just moved house. Were spending Christmas apart from the kids. My husband has cancer and will spend Christmas eve in hospital. Life never works out how we planned. Were all going to just fine, we have to be AND then..once it’s all done and buried we are all going to Thailand.

{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Tat December 20, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Life really can change in an instant. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Survival rate looks good, everything should turn out ok.

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Melissa *Suger Coat It* December 20, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Thinking of you. It is a bit ridiculous the things we get handed sometimes. I know you and your family will come through this with the grace, the humour and the love that just spills out of your blog.

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nikkishell December 20, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Oh goodness! I hope it all works out well. It's good that you know and can now work on beating it.
Thinking of you.x

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Miss Cinti - my poppet December 20, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Big kisses to all of you. My heart sunk when I read your tweet and hoped it wasn't true. Stay strong. Thinking of you
Xx cinti

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Danimezza December 21, 2010 at 12:02 am

I love you

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Katie December 21, 2010 at 12:06 am

When i read your post today about the girls going without you I thought that was so strange for Violets first christmas but now it all makes sense.
I will be thinking of you all over Christmas, what a yucky time of year to be going through this.
Sending you loads of love and healthy vibes xx

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amanda December 21, 2010 at 12:16 am

I cried through this entire post. I recently found out that my 11 year old brother has a pretty rare form of skin cancer, but they caught it so early that the prognosis is good. But it doesn't change the fact that it hurts like hell to hear those words. Its such a surreal moment. And the waiting for results is brutal.

All you (and I) can do is hope. A hope so fierce and unwaivering that it gets you through each day.

Just know that I am here, even though you don't know me and even though Im thousands of miles away, hoping with you. And praying that we can both embrace joy on the road ahead no matter what the worldly circumstances may be.

Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life.

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Cherie December 21, 2010 at 12:26 am

Oh Darling I cried for you. I'm so thinking of You. Please know if there is EVER anything I can do for you I will do so in a heartbeat. Huge, Huge Hugs with all my heart. xo.

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Bianca Jae Makes Stuff December 21, 2010 at 12:32 am

Dani, I dont know what to say. Strength to you and Luigi. Lots of love xox

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→lisa December 21, 2010 at 12:33 am

Oh Danielle. I'm so sorry to hear about Luigi's diagnosis.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

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Ali December 21, 2010 at 12:53 am

So sorry to hear such news,just had to comment and say I'm thinking of you and hope with all my heart it all comes good. The survival rate sounds good,all the best to you and your family.
Ali
X

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marian December 21, 2010 at 1:19 am

oh Danielle, i am shocked by what i've just read and i am moved by your resilience & strength..i know you'll get thru this. I wish you & Luigi love & optimism as you face this challenge together. Marian x

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A Country Wife December 21, 2010 at 2:28 am

Oh my goodness, how terrifying for you all. I can't begin to imagine how heart wrenching those three words "I have cancer" would have been for you. I'm wishing you and your husband all the strengh you need to get through the next few weeks xx

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Auntie Em December 21, 2010 at 3:32 am

Gosh! What a way to start out the holiday season. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And I hope and pray for the best, I'm not sure what I can do from half way around the world but please if you think of ANYTHING let me know.

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Rhi @ Hummingbird's Song December 21, 2010 at 6:38 am

Oh sweetheart, my heart broke from you. Sending you all my love and if I can do ANYTHING, please let me know. Thinking of you xxoo

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DaniV December 21, 2010 at 6:52 am

Two years ago on the 23rd December, my 38 year old husband was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. I was 6 months pregnant at the time. Christmas always reminds me of what we went through.
I am happy to say that he is now Cancer free.

Like you, I didn't read anything – we both really felt that we needed to stay positive in order to get ourselves and our family through it.

I pray that your family has the same positive outcome as we have had and that you find the strength to be positive and get through it.

Hugs x

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Kim H December 21, 2010 at 7:53 am

Danielle, I'm so sorry for what you are all going throguh right now. What diffficult, uncertain times. I pray that your husband is well soon and that you're all able to put this behind you very soon. From the little bit I know of Hodgkin's, it is a very curable disease and treatment is extremely successful at all stages of the illness. Thinking of you and your family xx

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Emma jane December 21, 2010 at 8:18 am

What an awful thing to happen before Christmas.

I'll keep everything crossed for you. I admire your courage and your husband's, Good Luck

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Ashwee December 21, 2010 at 8:41 am

Your hubby and family (and YOU) are in my prayers. It's truly extraordinary what life throws at us when we least suspect it. I am sorry your family have to go through all this and I really hope you get some good news come out of the testing that needs to take place between now and the new year.

We are all holding you in our thoughts and prayers.

Ash

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Leah December 21, 2010 at 8:43 am

Silent tears as I read this for you Dani, thoughts and prayers for you and Luigi.
Good luck with the treatment, try and enjoy your Christmas and snuggle up to your beautiful family tonight

xx

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BOB & MABEL December 21, 2010 at 8:49 am

Good luck with the treatment and I hope your lovely little family will be reunited very soon. My thoughts are with you all during this very difficult time. xox

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Virginia December 21, 2010 at 9:15 am

Love and strength to you guys for your journey ahead. xo

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Edwina December 21, 2010 at 11:01 am

Wow. Just wow. I'm so so sorry to hear this news – what with things in your life looking so bright with the move and new bubba. Good luck with treatment and try and enjoy your Christmas… I'll be thinking of you. xx

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Nicky December 21, 2010 at 11:06 am

I have absolutely everything crossed for your family, but you dont need me ro because it will all be fine xo

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Gab* December 21, 2010 at 11:08 am

Oh Danielle, so sorry to hear about Luigi… Think of you both and the girls.

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ashley December 21, 2010 at 11:35 am

My heart aches for you and your family. Positive thoughts and prayers are being sent your way xx

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jess December 21, 2010 at 11:43 am

There are so many people sending positive thoughts to your family. Im so sorry you have to go through this xxx

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Jacki December 21, 2010 at 12:06 pm

This is an incredibly moving post. I'm thinking of you all at this time and truly hope this works out.

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Amy December 21, 2010 at 12:37 pm

I don't know what to say. Praying that this nightmare is over for you soon.

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GemmaJoy December 21, 2010 at 12:50 pm

What a full on few weeks you've had. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. Fingers crossed for a quick speedy recovery.

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Mummyliz December 21, 2010 at 1:11 pm

My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.
My husbands mate had this type of cancer at Stage 3 and beat it, he has been in remission since 2002. I wish you a load of positive luck. xxx

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sharnee December 21, 2010 at 1:26 pm

That's really shit :( Big hugs for you all.

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Jenna December 21, 2010 at 1:53 pm

So sorry to hear this dani, my thoughts are with you and your family. xx

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Farmers Wifey December 21, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes..thinking of you..xx

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Karen TW December 21, 2010 at 3:31 pm

OMG Dani, what a shock :(
i hope that all the news from here on in is positive and you can get through this together.

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bec December 21, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Gosh, I had to read this twice for it to sink in, I can only imagine what it's like for you guys, and what you are feeling. There are never the right words to say, but hope you get through this time with that beautiful baby by your side, and have some good news in the New Year. Hope melbourne will be good to the girl's, too!

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Jenny December 21, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Oh my god Dani I don't even know what to say – I shocked and gutted for you guys. Please know you and luigi and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers.
Xx

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Ally {mtm} December 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

I cannot even begin to imagine what a difficult time this must be for all of you.

Keeping you in my thoughts xx

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traceyleigh December 21, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Just wanting you to know how sorry I am that Luigi and yourself are going through all of this. Stay positive. Much love to you and yours.

xx

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Anonymous December 21, 2010 at 6:39 pm

I am so sorry to hear.

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Tab December 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm

So not what I expected to read. Will be remembering you, Luigi and your beautiful girls in my prayers. Its the time of year where we say nice things about hope and joy. I pray that hope will be real and that joy will come for you. xo

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Tina December 21, 2010 at 6:53 pm

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you positive vibes and a big squeeze. Thinking of you and your family x

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Liss December 21, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Danielle – my heart breaks for your sadness and this terrible thing that's happened to your husband, you and your family.

You are taking a pragmatic approach and I commend you for that – I pray the statistics are on your side and he makes a full recovery sooner than you think.

Whilst this is all about your hubby and your family – please do be kind to yourself and look after YOU ok?

Lean on those around you – love to you all – Liss xxx

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Amanda December 22, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Thinking of you all at this difficult time xx

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emmaonafarm December 22, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Big Hugs to a lovely family….

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Jen December 23, 2010 at 12:04 am

I'm so sorry. xx

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Carl and Heidi December 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

oh Dani, I'm so sorry to read your news, sending you lots of positive thoughts and thinking of you x

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Sharni December 23, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Danielle, only just saw this. Thinking of you guys through this difficult time xxxx

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Maddie December 25, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through, but I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending positive vibes your way! Xoxo

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Ms Fifikins December 25, 2010 at 11:37 pm

Sending hugs.

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Tammy December 26, 2010 at 4:00 pm

My heart goes out to you and your husband. Ill think positive for you and cross my fingers.xxx

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lusi December 29, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Thinking of you guys.
Hoping for the best for you all.
With love and hope,
Lusi x

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Melissa January 15, 2011 at 9:25 am

Devestating.

I know exactly what you mean when you get that feeling that you know the next words out of a person's mouth will change your life forever – and not in a good way. I've been there, and remember it vividly.

Good luck to your family. I'm glad he's taking it as well as he can, and that he has you to support him.

I know this year will be rough – but I hope that this time next year, you can be well on your way to putting it behind you.

I know I"m a stranger, and I just found you today, but I'll be thinking of you.

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Cinda March 3, 2011 at 6:23 pm

I just saw this from your Nuffnang article and I'm sorry to hear this. My thoughts go out to you and your family xxx

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Corrie March 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm

hello
I just found your blog and so sad to read this. I can't imagine what you are going through with your husband but my mum has been fighting cancer for over 4 years now and I hope you all stay strong! it's a rollercoaster and that's the only way to describe it but at least he is young and getting treatment now.

big hugs and love your blog
Corrie;)

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